


The One Where Everyone Dies

by Alice_in_Yaoiland



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Blood, Bones Breaking, Choking, Crack, Deaths, Eggs allergy, Gore, I mean just look at the title, Tags to be added, author regrets nothing and everything, deaths that could be canon, everyone dies, internal organs, nonsensical deaths
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-21 11:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10684509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_in_Yaoiland/pseuds/Alice_in_Yaoiland
Summary: People die every day. From the most tragic deaths ever to the silliest ones. Which ones are these guys getting?





	1. Luke

**Author's Note:**

> So, I had this random idea where I just kill Star Wars characters and, well, big thanks to @Davechicken for supporting this shit.

There are moments in life when everything goes as planned. And you expect everything else to go just like that: as expected. And yeah, mostly, they go. But then there are times when life just...  
Look, let me show you. It's better when I'm not babbling.

*throws glitter at you so the scene and narrator form can change*

"The Force is with you, young Skywalker," Luke turns around, slowly. Just on the other side of the room he sees the owner of the voice with its creepy breathing. "But you are not a Jedi yet." Breaths in... breaths out.  
Luke goes to him. Stop, a second or two, then, swiftly, he takes his saber from his belt and lights it.  
It's blue blade soon meets Vader's red one. They don't lash out at each other's throats at first, no. There is a three seconds blue eyes to black mask stare, the breath in... and breath out. And then, they start.  
The first meet of the blades. Pause. Attack, a second passes and Vades throws Luke down, he falls flat on his arse. Rises, breath in... breath out.  
Stare. Step forward, Vader retreats, another step forward, another backwards. Pretty basic fighting rules, really. Attack! Once, twice, a third! Stop...  
Defense. Spin and attack. Defence, attack, too fast for me to keep up, but at least three more exchanges?  
Some talking, Luke loses his saber, Vader strikes, Luke rolls down the stairs. Vader jumps, lands where Luke was... Except. That he didn't. The cute story is that he did, but the true? Here, have it:  
Vader jumps, the cape flows slightly behind him, and he lands on top of Luke's arm. A crack sound is made and Luke screams, agonised, and curls around his arm.  
Vader takes one look at him. Breaths in... breaths out. "Are you kidding me? Your bone snapped, so what? It's not like it was cut off or anything!" He swings his own arm down, ready to reprimand the kid for whining when he remembers that his saber is still on.  
He watches as his son's middle splits up into two pieces and his organs and blood start to pool the floor. And he hopes that the kid's twin will be a better of a fight. She could even bring him back to the Light, who knows?


	2. Hux

"What is this?" The recently assigned General asks Lieutenant Mitaka as he all but shoves his data pad at the poor man's face.  
Mitaka has to take a step so he can properly see what he's being shown. "Oh. That's the kitchen's new questionary, General Pimpa. To prevent fatal accidents from happening. Sir."  
"Fatal accidents? Why does the Finalizer even care about this?" The man barks and stares down at the Lieutenant.  
"It would be best if the Supreme Leader told you, sir."  
"I see." The man turns on his heels and leaves. Mitaka sighs and closes his eyes. Indeed, it would be very awkward to talk about that day.

***

It was Lunch break for most of the bridge's staff. Lieutenant Mitaka and some of his comrades were sharing a table and chatting animatedly at the cafeteria when they first heard it.  
It had been a simple, small, barely noticeable sneeze, at first. But then came a second sneeze, and a third, and a fourth that barely had time to finish before there was a fifth.  
That's when the whole cafeteria, minus the sneezes, went quiet. The sneezes became loud then. All heads turned to the person who was sneezing.  
General Hux. His plate of food barely intact in front of him.  
He had his hands covering his mouth, the tips of his ears were pinkish and a frown on his face. His eyes were squeezed shut.  
The next sneezes came a bit different, more raw and less loud. His face started to turn purple and his hands went to his throat.  
Instantly, someone said "he's choking!" And everyone looked around to find Lord Ren, forgetting that he wasn't even aboard the ship, but their attention was quickly drawn back to the General as he realized he couldn't breath anymore, his eyes widened and his face more pale than ever, he gave one last try, before his eyes rolled to the back of his head, his posture was gone and he fell forwards, his face hitting the side of the plate and it's food falling all around.

Later that day, the Medical Examiner's Office came up with the cause of General Hux's death: eggs' allergy.


	3. Phasma

It wasn't a nice day, but it wasn't so terrible either.  
In the morning Captain Phasma had to stop the General and the Commander from the matinal bickering and bring them to the Supreme Leader.  
Then she had to deal with the arrival of all the other six Knights of Ren. And, consequently, the General's mood drop.  
Then there was lunch, the FN unit got into an argument with the JB unit and Phasma had to take them all to reconditioning.  
And came training time.  
Meeting with the General and a few officers.  
The time to choose the troopers she would have to send to Starkiller Base II, finally.  
Accidentally walking on the General and the Commander and having to separate them before they killed each other.  
Some bureaucracy.  
And came the time of the day where she could have her peace: her own training time.  
She found a training room facility, used her code to lock it up for herself and went to train.  
It was a very great training. She overdid herself as every night and was ready to feel the burn of her muscles in the morning. It makes life much less boring, after all.  
But it happened right then. As she entered the changing room and went to untie her shoelaces, _something_ just happened to her knee, that there was a loud snap sound and suddenly she was falling backwards.  
She was ready to roll to her feet as soon as she fell, but she wasn't aware that she had been standing so close to the sink. So, before her back could even hit the floor, her head hit the sink.  
At first, she heard more than she felt. She heard as a hard surface hit another and she heard the familiar sound of bone breaking. Then she felt an immense pain on the back of her head and felt as a warm liquid started to come out of that spot.  
She barely had time to gasp before her head slid and she finally hit the floor. Her blood was already soaking her hair and armour. She tried to reach for her commlink but her limbs were already halfway numb.  
Her vision started to darken on the edges and get blurred in the middle. She couldn't move nor see.  
Her mouth started to dry and her heart started to slow down. And then, Captain Phasma felt no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. This is literally based on one of my nightmares. What happened was an experience I had back in HS, but instead of falling to my death, I was facing the sink as I went to untie my shoelaces when my patella just decided to get out of its bloody place and fell on the floor. The nightmare is that instead of that, I die and no one knows for a long time (aka until basketball and volleyball practices were over).

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading <3 and please, feel free to request a death or a character to die.


End file.
